Holding Tight
By Erica

Remember those hot summer days
When things weren't so hard,
And God wasn't far away.
Those were the days when I wasn't afraid.

Remember those cool summer nights
When we stared at the stars,
When we looked for the light,
And our eyes were still bright.

Remember that dull Lord's day
When we were waiting for work.
You began with my name
And it fell into place.

Remember that summer twilight
While we sat on the dock.
I was ready to fight.
You caught me by surprise.

And you told me
You love me.

Things are hard now. It's tough for me
To understand. I try to see,
But I'm usually lost and I can't see the way.
So, I hold tight to memories of hot summer days.

~ Written October 27, 2006 ~

Wait-Listed
By Erica

What happens when the words won't come
To explain all that you gave to me?
To show all that you break from me.
When you are gone, what's done is done.

I don't know what to say to you.
This back-and-forth -- it drives me mad.
I think of what we "never" had,
But all the things we'd do.

Is this mindset wrong of me?
You always make me so confused.
The gentle touch you always use;
But still you say we cannot be.

I don't want you now -- just for all time.
I can let you go today,
If you will turn around and say,
"Just wait for me -- I'll make you mine."

When the time has finally come,
I'm afraid you'll whisper, "Let me be...
"See her? She's better than you'll ever be."
I'll be on the list, but not number one.

And you will always drive me mad,
Because of what we never had.

~Written March 25, 2006~

Taking Me
By Erica

I'm falling apart;
Crumbling.
Not strong enough
To hold you.

But you look to me.
And lean on me.
But I am like sand,
Blowing in the wind.

When I look inside
Myself,
I am broken,
I am shattered.

I pretend that I am fine,
Make-believe that I can hold you.
But your weight is
Killing me.

When I look inside myself,
I am the sand.
You are the sea,
Taking me.

~Written December 19, 2005~

Hope
By Erica

Staring at you,
I don't know you,
Though I always thought
I did.

You have hurt me,
But you don't see
The weight that carried in words
You said.

You have fed me
Lies that led me
To think that you were more
Than this.

I was blind to
All that you do.
I know you as better than a
Judas kiss.

You have stolen
Words and turned them
Into what I hate
To list.

Liar, enemy,
Abuser; hurt me.
I hope that you know what
You've missed.

~Written January 11, 2006~

Numb
By Erica

If I don't think about it,
It's not there.

If I don't know about it,
I won't care.

If I don't care about it,
I won't hurt.

And life will go back to the way it should.

~Written December 20, 2005~